Birthday Cake
by E. Lovett
Summary: Pip decides to take Seras Victoria to McDonald's for her birthday. Unfortunately, he has no money... Some PipXSeras moments.


**I am bored.**

**Very bored,**

**Excuse me, I _was_. I wrote this on the beach, heheh.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing. I'm only playin' in it.**

**

* * *

  
**

She was about to fall in despair.

It was Victoria's favorite day. It was the most important day for her. Unfortunately, nobody showed any interest.

It was her birthday.

Everything was the same as the other days, even worse, more boring. Integra had to do the paperwork, Alucard was sleeping and Walter was too busy with Integra's caprices. It was funny in some way, but Seras felt sad for him and wanted to make his job easier somehow, helping him. So she ran to the kitchen, where she was invaded with the scent of fresh food. Interga's dinner, indeed.

"Walter, can I help with anything?" she politely asked, showing a timid smile. Walter returned it with his usual, kind, smile but denied.

"Victoria, why don't you go training instead? I'm the butler here," he laughed at his own words. It sounded so banal, so stupid it made Seras laugh too, but Walter never was to know why.

Yes, everybody told her to go do something: go train (Walter), become useful (Integra) or "get lost and let me sleep, stupid Police Girl" (guess! ). She thought Alucard actually knew about her birthday but didn't give a shit. Of course, that made her feel worse, so unimportant… She decided to go for a walk to chase those bad thoughts away.

She had walked a lot that day for the same reason. Usually, she would get tired because of the sun and go sleep. But she was too depressed to sleep. She reached to the small park, not far from the Hellsing HQ. She liked it best, because it was small and unpopular, people didn't bother her, because people didn't come there.

"Damn! I'm so egoist!" she said to herself, rising up from the bench she was sitting on. "Why do I want presents, attention and stuff? People are dying in Africa and I want some damn presents!" she found her own words quite stupid so she let herself fall back on the bench. "Still, some interest wouldn't be that bad," she whispered to herself. In some ways, it felt good to be egoist. Just not to care about others, feeling important. To expect tons of presents, kilos of love... what a life! She always believed in advertisements. In those ones that showed a perfect world. Or those perfect girls she saw in movies… even some of her friends. They were rich, beautiful… they had no problem at all! For them, almost every day was their birthday. She let her head fall backwards and closed her eyes. She entered her imaginary perfect world, where people were killing each other to get her attention, ubercute boys were at her feet…

But she didn't know somebody was following her and hearing every word she was letting out her mouth.

"Happy Birzday, Victoria!"

Seras lazily opened her eyes and searched for the source of that French accent... Right in front of her, there stood the man that spoiled all her fantasy. The man that made all the ubercute boys run away, the glasses with cocktails break and the pool fade away. She narrowed her eyes, mentally using some big swearwords and moaned a powerless "thank you".

That annoying man was Pip.

She wasn't really disappointed of his presence. In fact, she concluded he was better than those imaginary friends of her. Something told her a moaned thank wasn't enough for Pip, so she took a deep breath and rose up to hug him. That took him by surprise and he almost fell back. Of course, he was about to explode of pride as he felt her arms wrap around his body.

"You're the only one that remembered," she faked a cry in his chest. "Not even a nice word from anybody else!"

He put his hand over her head and patted it instead of talking to calm her down. He just had to put his hand somewhere else too… she grimaced when she noticed his hand on her derrière but decided to let him be, she was to depressed to lecture him now. Still, he felt so proud he could produce electricity for two years. He didn't know she wasn't crying and in fact hated what she was doing. Buy she did her best to not make him feel bad.

Then he remembered what Victoria said to herself some moments ago and got hit by an idea to make her feel better.

"I have an idea!" he let her go while she was thanking God for making him do that. "What about a Happy Meal?" he smiled his most stupid smile he could ever produce. Seras did the same.

'Not really what I expected from Pip but… I guess it's okay. Just pretend your veeeeeeeeery happy,' she thought nodding. He smiled and let her back to the Hellsing HQ.

"You know, that was quite unexpected," she smiled, more to herself because Pip wasn't watching her. He seemed planning something, like something else was catching all his attention. "I guess I don't really know you that well"

Pip smiled and looked at her, making her feel more secure for no reason at all, "What would you have expected from me, dear?"

"I don't know… a romantic dinner," she laughed until she noticed Pip's worried look. She immediately knew what was wrong and fixed it before Bernadotte could let the words get out from his open mouth. "But don't worry, I would have refused that." He looked away.

That was all they talked about until they reached the Hellsing mansion. Seras was still thankful to God, but this time for not letting him stare at her. He would usually look at her, smile, make grimaces… anything to make her laugh in those conditions! She even thought he would be able to make her laugh on the battle front. True, that was what she admired the most at him. That was why she could handle staying with him. The only reason she liked him.

Pip took out his keys and got in the car. So did Victoria. The black car had seats made of brown leather, many buttons on the wheel she had no idea what their use was for and was all shiny. She immediately felt the smell of a new car.

"Hmmm," she moaned before she formed her sentence, "you bought a new car"

"Just got my money, so I bought it." Seras noticed his crisped look. He looked like he was driving through hell. He was concentrated or something. Or that looked more like he had told a lie.

They drove to McDonald's. As they passed the fence surrounding the big building, she immediately felt the smell of fried potatoes, the smell that made hunger rise in her. There were many people at McDrive and Seras didn't know why, but Pip waited until he saw a car with a kid in it, and hurried to get in front of them. It was strange, because Pip usually would go straight to the food, and not wait for anybody, even if the national security would depend on that. He noticed Victoria's change of expression and decided to explain.

"Look, I have no money and-"

"What?!? Why did you take me here, then? To smell the food? To see all those happy people eat while I'm starving?" she interrupted him, furious. He sighed and realized what a bad start he had got.

"…but I can still feed zat big mouz of yours," he smirked. Seras started in awe. "You'll see, I'll get a free meal here"

They slowly but surely got to the first pay-office . Seras wouldn't really starve, she reminded that after some moments. After all, she was a vampire and she drank blood. McDonald's was the only human food she could eat and like. Maybe because that was her favorite food and she used to eat that a lot before becoming a draculina.

"I'm sorry, I got no money and by ze time I realized zat, people already were behind me," he started, giving the woman there a seductive but stupid smile. She blushed and Seras glared at her, feeling a bit jealous, indeed. "I'll just get out following zese ones"

He closed the window. Victoria poked him in need for explanations and he gave her his victorious smirk.

"We're lucky," he said, "I could see she was a naïve newbie." Seras smiled at that one. "We'll get our meal straight… away!" he saw a happy meal and another bag hanging on a hand on the other pay-office. He speeded up and grabbed them, surprising Seras and quickly getting out of there. When he saw they were secure, far away, he gave the happy meal to Victoria.

"Happy Birzday, dear," he bent down to kiss her, in the middle of the drive and she decided to let herself kissed whispering a small "thank you, dear". The ambience was perfect. The love was flowing out of each one, waiting for the big moment when they could share it physically. But before their lips could unite in a single moment of passion…

**CRASH!!!**

They ended up in a tree. Three police cars were surrounding them in no time while they were doing their best to fight against the stupid airbags. The people working at McDonald's must have called them. She wasn't such a naïve newbie after all. Seras looked at them from inside the car, while Pip was already outside, hands up. Black shadows surrounded Seras.

* * *

She woke up in her room, Alucard sitting at the end of her bed. She could tell he was pissed off and waited for his scolding. He noticed her waking and simply got up.

"If I wasn't there to save your ass, you would have ended up in jail with that other idiot!" he said opening the door. "Unfortunately for him, I couldn't save him, in front of all those men," he walked away closing the door after him, violently. He let there a puzzled, confused, dizzy Seras Victoria.

* * *

Pip was in jail and people there didn't really like him. He hated his 'partners' and they hated him. They often got into fights for food, toilet, shower, or other minor things. Nobody never won, as the guardians always catched one of them and took them back to their cell. Opposed to him, they ended up there because of worse things, like drugs, crimes, pedophilia and so on. But he ended up in jail because of crashing a rented car and stealing from McDonald's. Gee, companies these days had too much power.

One day, the guardian announced he had a letter. He was surprised, people didn't write to him even in 'freedom'. It was written with an elegant, calligraphic font. The paper was slightly yellow, giving it an ancient look. And yes, it was perfumed. Victoria's perfume made its way to his nose, letting him inspire every little particle of it. He opened the letter and started reading.

'_Dear Pip,_

_I tried my best to find you a good lawyer, but I don't know why, they just couldn't concentrate on anything while I was there (I think I noticed some of them staring at my thingies). I ended up with this idiot. Integra tried her best to find a serious one too, but gave up at the third, saying it should serve you a good life lesson._

_Why didn't you tell me that wasn't your car? Seriously, I don't get it._

_We're okay here; people are persecuting me as always, forgetting important days for me… telling me to do various things and make fun of me, stress the hell out of me… (and I would use some swearwords on master, but I think he will read this). [The paper had a little hole in it here]_

_It's not the same without you!_

_I miss my annoying friend and I wish you will come here in time for my next birthday._

_What about KFC?_

_Hugs,_

_Seras Victoria._ '

He smiled and went back to sleep, dreaming of chicken nuggets.

* * *

**This idea came into my mind when I watched Remi Gaillard's videos. They are very funny! check on YouTube. It's worth. :)**

**Please review!**

**(I may come back to correct some things, I'm too tired for it now.)  
**


End file.
